so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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