When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
