i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
