Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
