Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
