I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
