Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
