how hairy? two words: wookie tits
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
