Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
