I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
