Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
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