Pappa wants mamma naked
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
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