I've blown a few things in my day
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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