Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
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