Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
how does that bad decision feel?
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