very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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