you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
