Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
