is your mom at the bar?
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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