Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
