Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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