The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
They are going to name an STD after you.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Randomize
