I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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