I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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