fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
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