she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
