The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
