Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize