You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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