Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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