I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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