he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
