He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
