we're blogging at a bar
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
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