I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
