I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
