I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
