Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
