Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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