you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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