Cold hands, warm shart.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
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