there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
