Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
