My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
