Tell her she can't have a vagina
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
