she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
i think i just lost a toe
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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