it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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