Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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