You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
did i walk over a car last night?
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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