Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
