I heard we made out
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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