so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
