Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she pinky promised me she was 18
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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