Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
