so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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