So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
