I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
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